Each application season introduces the professional editor to new challenges faced by students who may not have a strong foundation in writing fundamentals. One element of storytelling that can be a struggle is writing the brief action sequences essential to bringing a story to life. Having an engaging family history, sincere motivations, and compelling narrative conflict (which Scott will address in future posts) are not enough by themselves to capture the reader’s attention. In the college admissions process, your first reader may not be a full-time admissions professional. They might be a contract reader helping the department part time who has no formal writing background or who is fatigued by having read many lackluster essays. All the more reason it is your responsibility as a writer to keep them engaged with good storytelling.
The primary goals of writing action sequences are to entertain the reader and to fulfill one of the requirements of sound essay writing: to show, not tell. Simply stated, showing means demonstrating through direct action punctuated by vivid details, while telling introduces the reader indirectly to the action as something that took place in the past. Action scenes need not possess the high drama of a Hollywood film, nor do they require bodies hurtling through space. Actions can be either fast or slow, but more importantly, they must give the protagonist agency, a sense of control over their own destiny in the story.
Action scenes are especially helpful for student athletes who wish to write about their sport in some way. Yet all characters in your story must be animated by at least one action. Take for instance the mythological story of Heracles slaying Hydra, the nine-headed snake whose heads grew back each time they were severed with a sword. Which of the following sentences is more engaging?
Heracles waited for an opportune moment then attacked the serpent with one decisive blow that left Hydra’s final head limp in the dust.
OR
Hydra’s scales cut deeply into the hero’s knuckles as he wrestles the beast’s final head backward, exposing the soft flesh of the neck.
Here the difference is clear. Telling is typically written in the past tense. It lacks vivid description of specific actions and tends to omit details that make the story engaging. Telling has the habit of following a linear sequence in which this happened then that happened. On the other hand, the second sentence provides specificity that triggers the reader’s imagination. The reader will be wiping Heracles’ sweat from their eyes.
Remember these 5 tips for writing a compelling action scene for your own college application essay:
Write in the present tense. Verbs place the reader in the here and now.
Use vivid details to activate the reader’s senses of sight, sound, touch, smell and taste.
Animate each character with at least one action.
For a sports play, be selective. Craft a sequence that plays out over 3-10 seconds.
Begin the sequence in the midst of action. Do not invest text setting the scene or providing context. This is an ancient storytelling technique for which your readers will thank you.
Action scenes are not appropriate for all essays, but when used judiciously they enliven the characters and awaken the senses of the reader. If you do include an action sequence in your college application essay, be sure your essay also leaves room for ample reflection on why this anecdote is essential to the story.